April 15 is noted in the U.S. as Tax Day. It also often falls
during the high holy days of several world religions. But for today
I would like to observe a different holiday altogether.
Happy Rubber Eraser Day! On this day in 1770,
Joseph Priestly discovered the eraser, using pieces of rubber
imported from Brazil. Then in 1858, by a stroke of genius, Hyman
Lipman of Philadelphia patented the pencil with an eraser at the
end.
The rubber eraser allows us to rub out the
goof-ups, erase the splotches, and generally start fresh once again.
There’s a very good reason why children learning to write purchase a
fresh Pink Pearl eraser every September.
As handy as these little pink devices are, I wish
there were a more suitable version which every family could employ.
It seems to me that in some families, memory
holds long for children’s mistakes. Aunt June tells the story again
and again about how her three-year-old nephew broke her Wedgewood
vase. Children are reminded endlessly about a bad grade or a messy
room. Children’s errors in judgment become the stuff of legends in
some families, casting children into permanent roles with negative
character attributes as their chief persona.
How I wish every family had a giant rubber eraser
with which to obliterate the evidence of children’s mistakes. While
children could learn their lessons, everyone else would conveniently
quickly forget and carry on with their view of the child intact.
Claudia Quigg
Let's TALK
..................
My husband found such an eraser in his heart when our sixteen-year-old
drove his new car to work (without his permission) and had a wreck on
her way. He was mad, all right, and she received a lecture and
appropriate consequences. Her own embarrassment and shame made it a
powerful learning experience. But when it was over, it was really
over—never to be discussed again. She is grateful for his grace to this
day.
As painful as it is to watch our children fail, we parents waste our
energy when we obsess about their mistakes. Allowing children to move
out of a bad day into a better one is teaching them a spirit of buoyancy
which can help them overcome difficulties.
Children mess up on a regular basis. It’s how
they learn and grow. Experiencing their failures with them provides
parents with a tremendous opportunity. This is the very laboratory where
we get to help them learn humility, forgiveness (of self and others) and
resilience. These three gifts will enrich their character and help
prepare them for future challenges.
So count me in when it comes to appreciating the
value of a good rubber eraser. Just as I erase my errors in the Sunday
crossword puzzle, I hope parents will learn to forget the faults of
their little ones. Families get a fresh page every morning, and a rubber
eraser to rub out our blunders as we go along.
As George Eliot once wrote, “It's but little good
you'll do a-watering the last year's crops.”
Let’s TALK, Copyright © 2005 by Claudia Quigg. All Rights Reserved.
Claudia Quigg is founder and executive Director of Baby
TALK at www.babytalk.org. Write to her at cquigg@babytalk.org.
