Teen Parenting

Baby TALK reaches teen parents by meeting them during their school day at area middle and high schools, an alternative school, and at the Boys & Girls Club.  On a regular basis (approximately once a week), a Baby TALK teacher shares developmental information about their children and facilitates supportive discussion about the challenges and joys they face.

The curriculum used is an adaptation of the Well Child information. This adaptation consists of reorganizing the Well Child curriculum by topic rather than by age. Topics are discussed for a month at a time and include feeding, sleeping, and relationships.  Difficult issues for teens--discipline and toilet training--are approached in the spring when we've had time to build relationships of trust with these young parents.

Teen Parenting Curriculum Plan

SEPTEMBER-OCTOBER: Relationships & Communication

NOVEMBER: Playtime & Toys, Other people in your child's life

DECEMBER: Baby's Development

JANUARY: Discipline--Teaching with love

FEBRUARY: Crying & Comforting, Separations/Fears

MARCH: Feeding & Sleeping like a baby

APRIL: Discipline--Teaching with love

MAY: Toilet training

Extended Family Events

In addition to weekly work with the teens, several times each year Baby TALK holds an extended family event which includes grandparents and children.  These events may be dinners or parties, but they always include a time for sharing among the families.  Grandparents, especially, seem to appreciate this opportunity.

Baby TALK staff also assist teens regularly in attending evening programs such as Lapsits at the library, Baby TALK Times, and Baby TALK's annual Lullaby Concert.

Quotes from Teens

"I worry that I won't be a good parent and that I won't be able to provide for my child financially. I think about that every day. I just know that I'm going to do the best I can."

"Ever since I've had Caitlin, I haven't felt like a teenager; I've felt like a mom. I think it happened too fast."

"I regret having her at such a young age, but I love her and I'll never regret that she is here. We're going to grow up. All three of us."

"I've found out who my true friends are. Some people stayed by me, and some deserted me."

"I miss my friends. Some of them don't call anymore. They say, 'You can't go out, so why bother calling?'"

"(My baby) is like me-very independent. He hates to be confined. He hates to follow rules."

How To Reach Teens

"If you invite them to come, then you are choosing your audience. You have to go out into the community to where the parents are." This suggestion from Claudia Quigg at a Baby TALK workshop stands out in the mind of Glenda Fitzgerald, a Title I reading teacher and Baby TALK advocate in Pana, Ill.

Fitzgerald and Suzann Alde, a reading recovery teacher, co-taught a parenting class for teenagers last year in Pana and are looking for a way to start up a class again.

"Last year we had between six and nine each week," Glenda says. "We met in the library right after school for 30 minutes to an hour. We met in the school we teach at all day, a K through 2nd grade type building, partly to make the parents comfortable at what would probably be their child's first school."

The class consisted of about five girls who had babies or were pregnant, a few girls seeking extra credit in a family living course at high school, and one dad who attended for awhile.

"We followed the curriculum very closely, but we did blend in some other information," says Glenda. "We added information from the well child program and we even made some toys. They really seemed to like the curriculum and stayed on after class wanting to talk."

Often the mothers brought their babies with them to class.  "We wanted to see the babies to keep track of how they were doing," says Glenda. "We did have some concerns and took those back to the school nurse. She appreciated the help since it is so hard to keep track of them after delivery."

Glenda and Suzann experience first hand the consequences of parents not providing the proper stimulation for babies. "We as teachers see kids every day that come in having never held a crayon or not having any books in the home," says Glenda. "It is so important to find the parents and serve them as soon as possible so they will hopefully continue to be served over the years to learn about child development and how they can help prepare their child for school."

Glenda and Suzann are excited about the possibility of working with a doctor in Pana who sees many teenagers through his practice. "Pana only has a population of 6,000, but we have a high poverty rate," Glenda says. "Many of our young children are unprepared to start school. We just have to keep on the look out for the right type of service delivery to fit the needs of the parents."

Claudia Reflects on Teen Parents

The problem with teen parents, of course, is that they are both 100% teenagers and also 100% parents!
During the teen years, human beings return temporarily to a level of self-centeredness which nearly matches that of infants. Soon they will be adults capable of selflessness. Temporarily, selflessness is a tall order.

And yet, for teens who bear children, selflessness is required. Their colicky newborns, curious babies and defiant toddlers will require of them patience, unconditional love, and emotional availability. For the sake of their children's future, these teenagers must learn to parent selflessly.

Helping teens learn to nurture their children is such a difficult task that many choose to ignore the challenge. We have chosen to learn what we can about the population, hoping for insights about how to help them effectively. We admit that we are still baffled about much of this challenge, but we have met with success when we have kept the following premises in mind:

Explore what's important to them. Social issues already resolved by older parents, for example, often cloud teen parents' abilities to focus on their children.

Spend time with them. A real generation gap exists between teen parents and almost any one over 25. Only after spending time together will a relationship of trust be established. Within this relationship, teen parents may begin to hear some of the messages we hope to share.

Remember that issues of discipline are especially at risk for children of teen parents. Many teens are still rebelling against structure and authority. They will not be inclined to impose limitations on their own children. We must find ways to show them the benefits of structure in their children's lives.

We would love to hear from any of you who are working with teen parents. What has worked for you? What remains a challenge? Please share your insights with us.
Best wishes,

Related Dialogue Newsletter Article: Volume 2, Number 2